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Monday, January 30, 2006
Penat++
Semalam aku pegi 3 kenduri kawin. Mak ngan abah gi enam. Wuhuhu... cam nak muntah, cam nak patah riuk pinggang sumer. Semalam juger kawan aku time kat MMU, Matt, melangsungkan perkahwinannya di Penang... dapat kad kaler krim yang mahal, yang cantik, yang ada tulis nama dia dan pasangannya di luar sampul...
Nak sesangat gi, nak sesangat tengok sape yang bertuah dapat kawin ngan dia, tapi tak kesampaian sebab sedara aku pun kawin gak kat sini... huhu...
Cam tak caya dia kawin dulu.
Sebab dia lawo sesangat.. [org lawo takleh kawin awal ke?..]
Sebab dulu time stadi, dia tadek boipren.. [ke aku yg tatau dia ader boipren?..]
Sebab dia baik and best, so she deserved to have a really nice someone. And I thought she might want to wait sometimes before settling with that someone.
But then, jodoh maut di tangan Tuhan, kan'...
"Semoga hang bahagia sampai akhir hayat, Matt yeh. Semoga kita dapat jumpa lagi lain kali walopon lain kali itu takkan sama macam dulu..."
Memang aku masih tak percaya. Eheh.
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Aku suka cerita Desperate Housewives. Aku suka sebab penulis skrip tu pandai memutar-belitkan ayat. And setiap ayat yang dia tulis, ada maksud tersirat.
Aku suka.
Kau pernah terfikir tentang ini? Tentang perkara yang kita lakukan sewaktu nak masuk tidur? The things that we tell ourselves before we fall asleep?...
...
Yes, each new day in our life brings with it a new set of lies. The worst are the ones that we tell ourselves before we fall asleep. We whispered them in the dark telling ourselves we're happy, or that he's happy.
That we can change or that he will change his mind. We persuade ourselves we can live with our sense. Or we can live without it...
Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves, in a desperate, desperate hope that come morning it will all be true...
...
I've done so many things in life, and unlike others who doesn't have regrets, I DO have sooo many regrets. Even if it's not my fault.
Kau rasa, macam mana aku boleh teruskan hidup dua puluh tahun ini tanpa sakit jiwa..? Maybe sebab aku dah belajar cara pujuk diri sendirik kot.
Or in other words, I tell lies to myself so that all the regrets will go away...
Oh well... it's not just me.
It's everyone else.
And you.
Kenapa ya, perasaan sesal tu sentiasa menghantui kita?
+++ Strawberryz @
11:55 PM
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